i feel like summer is almost over for me...
leaving for hong kong this week and then when i come back i have a week until band camp and then... school. :(
poop.

but i feel like i really haven't done anything this summer except relax and catch up on all that sleep which is good i guess. oh and get my liscense. :D

DCLA was a great experience though. I couldn't believe that weekend went by so fast but i felt so much closer to God in so many ways and to all those people i went there with. those adventures are going to be unforgettable. But i really think this summer has taught me the most about myself... which is weird. I don't know i think it started when i was dropping IB and it just made me think about who i really am. i have no idea how that happened but i think it started from there. and then DCLA just really made me rethink about who I really am. weird. I MET PEOPLE FROM ALASKA!!! and Seattle and north cali. haha. its kinda different. and we talked about schools and alot of things but it was weird that you could open up so much to complete strangers and they did the same exact thing to you. it was a real refresher though, meeting people that were so different from me yet were able to understand me and my life. I have yet to really go shopping though... thats sad. :( or watch movies (they're too expensive now). sigh. I'm happy with my AP scores though cause i didn't ever think that i would do that well.

but overall this summer i feel like i learned more about myself and about God. maybe this will be a summer of revival in a way. who knows.

oh yeah! i feel so much more authoratative (is that a word?) in drumline now. I hope i make a difference in the line and live up to the expectations i have for myself. x]

wow long blog.

ms hu is useless... she should get fired instead of alvo. same with waters. yay my future and senior year of high school is going to get screwed over by the government and school board's budget cuts. thanks bush, iraq, oh and california's big debts.

i so do not get macbeth's english...

competition didn't go so well this weekend... =/ just means we got to work harder yay! but yesterday was a super long day. i've knocked out on my bed for the past two days. o.o and then piano stressed me out. sigh. but i think although im super stressed and tired i have to think about my dad and how much he works. he works like twelve hours each day and im so grateful for all he has done. although he may be mostly at work he still tries his hardest to be in our everyday lives even though sometimes it just feels like he's nagging. i think i've just realized that my dad is really getting older, and that at work he's probably more stressed than me. my dad could be a real work-a-holic but then we all know its cause he does it for us and that just makes me feel all the more grateful. but i feel like i'm letting all his hard work down sometimes when i don't do well. i know my parents always say oh we just want you to do your best but i'm really scared my best isn't enough. i want to make them proud. but the future is really scaring me these days. =/ my parents are really not that young. its really a miracle that they had me AND my brother at such a late age. sigh. but they still work so hard for us. it really makes me appreciate them and love them all the more, because theres kids out there that don't have as loving parents.

i can't wait till spring break. actually correction i can't wait until we get... our uniforms, new drums, a higher score at comps, a show where i have no regrets and have that great feeling inside, and for some school to beat pacifica (again). :) yay.

sometimes i feel like trying is never good enough or doesn't even work for me. take calculus for example. i work my butt off on all the homeworks and crap and guess what i have in the class now... a freaken D. where last semester i didn't even work as hard and guess what a B but then 79.4. gosh i hate that class. but anyways i seem to always feel like the more i try the farther i stray from my actual goal. but staying optimistic works... i guess. since that seems to be the only thing that keeps my grades up and staying focused? but it upsets me when i work so hard yet the end product is nothing that resembles all my hard work. =/ does that make sense?

besides all that crap with school... today made me appreciate all the things i have in life, like a roof. i didnt get home till like 8.30 didn't start homework till now. but i think it was worth it. i helped out with the winter shelter for the homeless today at FCBC Walnut, and it was a really great experience and certainly an eye opener. last week at church some guy came to talk to us about Union Rescue Mission, which helps out the homeless, and that already opened my heart and eyes to all those  in need during this economic crisis. if we all thought that we had it bad, just think about those out in the streets, with no where to go. i helped with people coming to get clothes and feeding dinner and seeing how many people there were was kind of depressing. we're suppose to be America, the strongest country in the world, yet we have so many people living out in the streets and in poverty. how can that be? every person that comes into these winter shelters get a number. that number went up to 1000, although not all of them came. but if 1000 are registred just in the san gabriel valley and in this shelter, how many more are there in this whole country? i feel like the guy that was in charge of the clothing area had a big heart, because even though people were only suppose to get one jacket per season he would occasionaly let a couple slide. for instance this mexican guy had like two jackets in his hand although he already got one previously and couldn't decide between them. he had to give it to his children so the guy in charge just gave all of them to him. isn't that depressing? little children are out in the streets. i feel like i shouldn't take things for granted anymore. the simplest things like food or even a house makes me feel so grateful because now i think of those who don't have any of these things. but the thing is, even though they seem to have nothing, they don't seem at all that stressed out but rather optimistic and super grateful for the tiniest things. summer time i'm going to help out at Union Rescue Mission, it feels good to take time to help those who are less fortunate. :) today was a good experience.

hello. weekend was really chill although i was forced to go to a wedding reception on saturday. where my parents caught up with people whom they haven't seen in like ten years. o.o weirddd. but yeah we left the house at 5:30 and didn't get back till 11:30. -.- good lord. but yeah. friday we had this ridiculous test for band. it was pretty retarded... but yeah like half of the drumline in the back of the room wondering... wth is the count structure. we just hold there. but so stupid. anyways. after school... COSTCO SHOPPING with the BASSES and JUSTIN. kinda random. he just followed us. :O haha but it was funny cause jimmy drove us there with his mom. and that was just scary. we were all like WE"RE GONNA DIEEEE. meanwhile justin and chris are playing with those neck pillows in the back. o.o that was funny. we got there and we all went STRAIGHT to the free samples. yes we are super asian. ;] and then ran into a church friend? and vickie and them called me their mother cause apparantly i looked like one then pushing a cart... yelling at them for running around and actually pushing vickie in the cart in the beginning. it was hilarious. yeah so we started acting like a family cause people said me and chris look like we're related. and then justin fits in with us cause someone said he and chris were related and i guess cause we're all dark looking? oh and someone said jimmy and vickie look related. weirddd. so then they said i was the mother apparantly and then justin was the dad... -__- and then chris and vickie were twins. HAHA. and jimmy was the uncle. and hannah was either adopted or like vickie and chris' cousin. it was funny. they were actually calling us mom and stuff too. it was weird but like entertaining. so we're getting chicken wing samples. and the lady is VIETNAMESE and she has that accent. and it was HILARIOUS. you want some microwavable chicken wing. cook in eight minuteee. in the viet accent. and then chris got weird stares cause he called justin dad. that was funny. yogurt land after. and then we went back to school after dropping justin off. and we played that lifting game with two fingers? the freshmen were having fun with it. and then i got called a mother again since i wasn't going to the game and was just standing outside the bus talking to them. -.-"

but that was a fun Bass + justing bonding. haha.

it is 10:45 and im super tired already. stupid practice. it wasn't that hard today. iono maybe running on five to six hours of sleep has really gotten to me. :[
yeah so i like almost fell asleep twice since the hour and a half i've been home. i haven't really completed any of my homework yet... and i think i might pass out before i finish. school sucks. i hate how im always so tired all the time. and i have to use like every free minute of school to catch up on school work or start on some school work so that i won't have that much to do when i get home. whyy.

i hope it rains in the morning. so we don't have to march.